A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, “Now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey to the zoo.” The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the same policeman. The policeman said, “Hey there, I thought I told you to take that money to the zoo!” The boy answered, “I did! Today I’m taking him to the movies.”
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
”Put it on my bill.”
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.
Teacher: “I asked you to draw a cow and grass, but I only see a cow. Where is grass?”
Student: “The cow ate the grass, sir.”
Why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long?
Because if it were 12 inches long, it would be a foot!